Maternal instinct

Have you ever looked at your child, shed a tear and asked how did you manage to raise your baby? I don’t know why and how, but as soon as I gave birth and brought my daughter home, my maternal instinct just kicked in. My very own intuition told me how to do things the right way.

To share you a piece of me, my mom died few months before I gave birth. She was the one who’s supposed to babysit my daughter as soon as I return to work from my 4-month long maternity leave. To tell you honestly, I really don’t know anything about taking care of babies. I don’t know how to bathe them, feed them, pacify them - I was clueless that time. I didn’t even know if I was doing the right thing the moment I came from the hospital.  As painful as it may sound, no blood relatives visited me that is why I am very thankful to my husband, in laws and friends (you know who you are) for supporting me after I gave birth.  I almost went through postpartum depression. I know I am a strong person, but still it’s different if there’s someone you can talk to regarding what you’re going through like the pains and joys of motherhood and experiences in the labor room. Someone who can understand what you went through is the best person you can talk to, and for me that time, it was my mom whom I need to talk to during that phase of my life.

My husband and I were clueless with everything, and we were too anxious how to take care of our daughter. The pain from CS was excruciating but I managed to keep up with it just to take care of her 24/7. We didn’t have a go to person and a guide who can help us teach the basics of baby care that time. Experience really is the best teacher and we'd like to give ourselves credit for that. We know that we are newbie parents and still have a long way to go, but right now, our daughter is our pride and we know deep in our hearts that we are doing a good job nurturing her. I am so grateful to have a husband who is so hands-on in taking care of our baby. Just like me, he was also inexperienced, but right now, I can proudly say that he is becoming more of an expert. Thank you too, to my mommy friends for sharing your pieces of mommy information with me. 

Our daughter is turning 9 months few days from now, and I am so thankful that God gave women the power to nurture a child. Without this gift, I know I wouldn’t be able to raise a very healthy and beautiful baby girl. Maternal instinct is so true, because with it, I am able to nurture and see our daughter grow right in front of our eyes. 

To my daughter Milly, you may be too young to understand what I am writing right now, but when you're old enough to read this, I hope you can appreciate all the things your dad and I are doing for you.  Thanks too for bringing out the maternal instinct in me. Because of you, I have learned to love deeper and to appreciate kids even more. We love you and always will. 

First time mommy tales

Yesterday, I got the chance to finish a “mommy” book written by another mom who gave birth few years ago. The book is all about the things she learned being a new mom. Things that she didn’t learn or wasn’t discussed on all parenting books she had read. It was such an entertaining and quick book to read and I found myself always smiling as I reminisce the first few months of my mommyhood journey.

Here are some of the best points she shared on the book:

·         Mommy brain is a very real and true condition - hhhm, ever since I gave birth, I’ve been experiencing some sort of short term memory. I would always jot down things I need to accomplish, buy and what not. I am a fan or scrap paper lately. (I guess I can blame the anesthesia)

·         Showers will no longer be an enjoyment - having a shower or pooping (Too much info, eh?)  is already my escape from reality. Long baths have turned into 10 minutes of freedom.

·         Baby stores are so good in marketing strategy - as soon as you become a mom you will always have this limitless hunger for shopping for baby items. This is so me! I cannot stop buying stuff for my daughter and I’d end up being stingy   for myself so I can buy something for her. Haven’t bought something expensive for myself and where’s the fairness in here? My daughter has H&M, Cotton On, Calvin Klein and other expensive garments but here I am wearing an RTW blouse I bought near the MRT station for only 120Pesos. Haha. Also, my daughter has lots of shoes and there’s this one famous baby shoe brand that I bought 2 months ago for almost 4,000 and she can’t even wear it yet because it’s still big for her. (Patay ako sa asawa ko nito kapag nalaman nyang 4k yun)

·         New mommy fashion doesn’t exist -  well, most of your clothes will be a “thing in the past”. In reality, no mommy would ever go out of the hospital wearing skinny jeans, boots and a sexy crop top. (Just like those famous actresses and models) In reality, if you hated wearing granny panties, baggy pants and loose shirts, you will absolutely appreciate these types of clothes as soon as you become a mom. (most especially if you’re a breastfeeding mom).

·         Emotional - blame it with the hormones, because as soon as you realize that you are pregnant and once you become a mom, you will be more emotional. I gave birth 8 months ago, and I still cry over cheesy commercials. You must remember that your emotions will be on overload during and after pregnancy.  There will be crying. There will be irritability.  There will be unnecessary arguments over stupid crap with your partner. A warning - the tears are going to just start flowing for no reason.  Who knows what will set you off?  The latest celebrity break up. 

·         Obsession - During your pregnancy you will become obsessed with your baby's development and what size he or she is each week.  You are going to see it in a book, on a smart phone app, or on the web and like clockwork every Monday morning be checking on the status.  Every single week the baby will be compared to the size of a fruit or vegetable, and your mouth will instantly be watering for said food. This is so true! I have downloaded a couple of baby apps when I found out I was pregnant and kept on checking my baby’s progress. I even downloaded some tickers for my desktop and mobile too.

·          Care - less - Before I gave birth, I said to myself that I wanted to look good when the time comes that I need to push my baby. Little did I know that I never cared how and what I looked like when I started to have labor pains. I never cared how many nurses, doctors (even the male ones) saw me half naked because all I wanted was for the pain to go away.

and being:

·         Bionic - It's kind of amazing how while you're nine months pregnant all you can do is waddle around the house, plop on the couch like lump, and can't even bend over to pick up your car keys. When the time comes that you have to undergo the labor process, believe me, your body will be flexible just to find the perfect position to lessen the pain. You will be in positions you never knew you could be in.  

The author was right when she said that all those mommy and parenting books are fantastic but it would have been better if these books gave a sense of reality. I read a handful of parenting tips before I gave birth but none of these discussed what I would experience inside the labor room. How I wish I was able to read this before I became a mom. 

Every mom should read this so they can re-live what they went through during pregnancy and early years of motherhood.

Mommy "KAT-fessions"

Before I became a mom, I always say things that I wouldn't do once I become a mother. Things that I would and would not do and some bunch  stuff. Sometimes, I like to think that becoming a parent makes your brain cells act pretty weird and all the things you've said before are suddenly - Poof, Gone.  You go to the hospital pretty intelligent equipped with all the ideas and advises you've researched prior to giving birth. But as soon as you see your little one right there in your arms looking back at your face, everything would change. Turns out you really aren't smart at all. Being a parent is really not easy. There is no reviewer or a book that you can read that explains much about parenting.

So today, I’d like to share what motherhood did to me :D Most of my realizations are on the positive side, but here are some confessions that I'd like to spill.

·         I never liked ME time way back, but as soon as I had my daughter, I've always wanted some time alone for myself, not with my daughter, not with my husband. Just me. My me time right now is whenever I say I am going to poop while I bring my phone with me in the rest room.

·         Sometimes, but not all the time, I use my daughter to excuse myself from getting out of social obligations.

·         I easily get distracted whenever I have my phone with me. While I lull my daughter to sleep on my right arm, I have my phone with me on my left hand. Facebooking.

·         I hope my boss do not see this, but sometimes I call in sick just to be with my daughter and to recharge my body due to lack of sleep :D

·         I.Do.Not.Save - as in I buy lots of unnecessary stuff for my daughter without my husband even knowing it. I always ask the seller to ship the package here at my office so he wouldn't know that I have new items for my daughter.

·         I am unable to keep up with the mess.

·         Before I had Milly, I’ve always disliked moms who keep on posting pictures of their babies, but I am guilty as charged, I am already part of that club.  

·         I sometimes blame myself for not getting enough sleep because I stay up and stare at my Facebook newsfeed.

·         Yep, I use iPad as her baby sitter.  (Well, but not most of the time) 

·         I always C-H-E-A-T. Not the third party cheat kind of thing. I always get cheat days. I always tell myself that I am on a strict diet, but everyday is like a cheat day for me. (And now I am wondering why I still have  this extra flappy belly)

·         I feel proud of my  our genes. Didn't know that my husband and I have a good combination. In my own world, my daughter is the MOST BEAUTIFUL. :) 

It has only been 8 months and I am pretty sure that my list will be updated every now and then. Wait until Milly becomes a toddler. 

How about you mommas? Do you have any confessions to share? ☻