I want to know you better

I remembered my dad when I watched the movie Taken , and said to myself i wish I had a father like him. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad – and I cannot change the fact that he’s my father. I owe my life to him; I wouldn’t be in this world without him. But if I could change my destiny and have control to things that are happening to me, I would get “closer” to my father.  I would hold my dad and tell him how much I am longing for a father’s love.

I am not reluctant to tell that I grew up from a not so happy family; I grew up only seeing my dad once or twice a week, but every time we cross paths; I am afraid or timid to be him. I never felt any connection; or any affection from him. Though deep inside I know how much I love him, but I am afraid to show it to him. There’s this barrier that makes me stay from him. I don’t know what that is; but I know I love him.

I miss him – even if we haven’t had the chance the bond like a normal father and daughter would do. I don’t know if that’s the right term to say; if it’s missing or longing. I long for a father’s love; father’s care or whatever you call it.

I can still remember, the moment he danced with me when I got married with the love of my life. That feeling was such a great bliss. I never wanted to let him go that time of my life. When he held my hand and embraced me made me feel really secured. It was one of the most memorable dances of my life, and I will forever treasure that moment.

Dad/Papa/Itay/Ama -  I want to tell you that I love you. There may be some things that keep us disengaged from each other, but I want you to know that I am longing for you. I hope before things get too late, we can patch things up. I want to share my stories with you. How I grew up, the things that I hate, the things that make me scared. I want to share how I love being married, how I love life and how I learn to appreciate everything that I have. I want to tell you the things that I love, and the things that make me happy. I want to share the things that make me sad and the things that make me feel really bad.  I want you to know me more dad, more than anyone else in this world.

I want to know you better too. The things that keep you busy, the story of your life, how you met mom and other things that make you happy. Hence, I want to know you better.